It’s a heartbreaking truth that the effects of childhood bullying last a lifetime.
No matter how much you change, victims of bullying often struggle to forget the brutal behaviour they faced.
One woman had a stark reminder of this after her husband suggested a name for their daughter.
While it is a lovely name, it’s also the name of her childhood bully, and understandably the mum-to-be isn’t super keen.
On Reddit, she asked for advice over whether she was acting unreasonably by refusing to consider it.
A lot of people understood her argument, as they pointed out it might cause her to resent the tot, due to past memories.
But others suggested she might be acting unreasonably since it’s also the name of her partner’s great-grandmother.
The woman, 26 and her husband 28 are expecting twin girls and recently shared their top three names with each other.
One of his top choices is Ana – which she really, really doesn’t want to name her baby girl.
She explained: “This would’ve been all fine and dandy if Ana wasn’t the name of my childhood/teenage-hood bully. And that’s the name that he was strongly leaning towards.
“Keep in mind he and I have known each other since elementary school when I was in 3rd grade and he was friends with my brother in 5th.
“So he knew all about Ana and how she bullied me relentlessly to the point I’d cry myself to sleep some nights. I have not had any contact with this girl since Junior year when I moved schools.
“I’ve told him how that name makes me feel and that I genuinely think hearing that name on the daily would bring back really bad memories, so I asked him to pick from the other two names or pick an entirely different name.
“That’s when he decided to tell me, Ana, is the name of his great grandmother and now I feel like a complete a**hole.”
Many agreed with her that they should choose a name they both like, as one person commented: “Naming children should require a resounding yes from both parents.”
Another said: “The name clearly still affects you, and you don’t want the name of your child to be something painful for you.
“I’m not saying that you’d treat the kid differently for having the same name as your bully, but you might react differently to hearing the name subconsciously for a while and your daughter could pick up on it.”
But another disagreed, as they posted: “You’re not the ahole for not wanting your bully’s name immortalized in your child, but thousands of people have that name, including your husband’s relative, so he’s not the ahole for wanting to honour her either. It’s neither of your fault that those 2 women have the same first name.
“As someone else who was bullied, I think you need to work on separating the name from the person—for your own sake at the very least.”